//
you're reading...
my life

Increasing Awareness and Letting Go of Fear

Co-hosting and participating in the January 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge, I’ve been increasing my awareness of my thoughts, emotion – a lot of things.

My sister called me tonight and asked if I wanted to watch American Idol with her. I would love to. I’ve been thinking about doing that this past week, but I said no tonight because in this moment I don’t feel safe leaving my house at night.

I went on a walk with my other sister this afternoon and I’m going to her house tomorrow night for dinner. When she brought up dinner and watching a 3D movie, I felt a tingle of fear because I knew that meant driving at night.

When I got off the phone with my sister about American Idol – it made me realize that I’m letting my fear make decisions, and irrational fear. I don’t always know where the line is drawn between paranoia and lesser fear, but I don’t like functioning from either place.

I think in the past, I would live from a place of fear without questioning it. Unconsciously, I would accept it as my normal. I don’t want fear to be my normal.

A lot of the times, in situations like this, I’ll push through my fear and do the things that I want to, but most of the times when I do that I’m experiencing life from a place of discomfort. For example, if I had gone to my sister’s tonight, like I have other nights when I was experiencing fear, my fear and anxiety would have heightened, and once I got back home, I would feel tense, eerily alert and I’d have difficulty falling asleep.

I want to find other ways to push past my fear without living through it. For the most part, I’ve gotten rid of a lot of it, and I’m great at letting go of it when I’m experiencing it, but sometimes only to a degree. I feel pretty safe right now, but the thought of going outside at night spikes up my fear thoughts – so I’m not completely functioning from a place without fear.

That’s one of my self-love intentions, learning to let go of fear. I’ve learned to live with it, function with it and temper it, now I want to learn to let it all go, within reason.

Emelina Minero

Advertisements

About emelinaminero

I'm passionate about people, community, self-love and the diversity in the human experience.

Discussion

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 638 other followers

Twitter

Follow Me on Instagram

Fonso dancing solo highlight with Carrie and Ninel cameos.
%d bloggers like this: